I Fuckin' Love You Guys....

Sunday, January 15, 2006

She's Got the Look...

Well, we've discovered that our 7 month old girl has a weapon of mass destruction. I hope she doesn't realise she has it, because we are both defenseless against it, and if she is able to master it's use we are destined to a lifetime of slavery and buying ponies and anything else that she wants.
Let me explain: We went shopping for a rug for our living room yesterday, and we were pretty intent on finding the right one. We'd been going back and forth between three different shops, checking each design, and comparing textures and price and all that. Yoyo was happy enough to sit in her stroller playing with her toy, singing away, so we weren't paying that much attention to her. We'd been looking for about an hour, when, in one of the shops, I found a fluffy little sheepskin mini-rug. I jokingly told the wife "Hey, we should get this for Yoyo". We handed it to the baby, who looked at it, petted it and laughed (she laughs at just about everything), and then she looked up at us with the most angelic, joyful, full-of-love look that I've ever seen in my life. My wife and I both spontaneously burst into tears - and my lovely wife NEVER cries at ANYTHING.
As we left the store, lovely wife laughed - "Where the fuck did THAT come from?".
Now I am a shameless sook - I cry at movies, weddings, the opera, football games...but LW is usually a stoic. OK, she has been known to very occasionally cry at certain times of the month for inexplicable reasons (burnt toast, the fact that I just don't listen, etc)....but those moments have been few and far between, and at the risk of sounding insensitive - I think we can safely attribute those tears to some sort of weird hormonal activity.
But she never cries for the sort of reasons most normal people do. We've sat through absolute tear-jerkers ("Of Mice and Men", for example) where everybody in the theatre was clutching their tissues, and she'd sit there munching her popcorn oblivious to what the rest of us were feeling. And then she'd use it as conversation fodder the next time my friends were around for a BBQ.
But our little girl has this look...

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

And...she's off!!

What a busy week it's been!
Yoyo started crawling on Monday evening. She had been making all the right moves, and she had the starting position down pat, but she just couldn't put all the actions together at the same time. Actually, she was moving around - she would get on hands and knees and push herself backwards, or she would sort of slip and slide sideways and eventually get to where she wanted to go...but, on Monday night....as we sat in her room watching...she CRAWLED FORWARD. There was much rejoicing and clapping of hands in the IFLYG household.
My lovely wife is re-joining the work-force next week, so it is with a lot of mixed emotions that we are putting Yoyo into daycare. She had her first visit yesterday, and had a great play in the morning, but there were a few tears when she woke up from her mid-day nap. I left work early, to see how she was doing, and boy, was she glad to see me. She grabbed ahold of me and gave me a huge hug. The ladies at the child-care place are very nice, and they said that she'd actually had a pretty good day despite the tears, and said that she's crawling and pulling herself up very well...
This was news to me - she's pulling herself up? I sat on the floor of the daycare centre and put her on the floor next to me, and she put one hand on my knee and the other on my arm, and effortlessly stood up. Oh my god! You could have knocked me over with a feather. She crawled for the first time on Monday, and by Wednesday she's standing up by herself. She's just over 7 months old! 4 weeks ago, she was just learning how to roll from her back to her tummy and back again. Everyone says they grow up so quickly, but Jeez! She'll be riding a bicycle by the end of the weekend....
Lovely wife is struggling a little bit with the whole "going back to work" scenario. I feel pretty sad about it, too. But we want to send her to a nice school someday, and save some money for number 2 (and hopefully 3...), so until that Lottery pays off, I can't see another option. If Yoyo absolutely hates it, we'll have to re-examine our options. We are both quietly confident that she'll be fine - she was passed around between family and friends over the holidays like a joint at Woodstock, and it didn't phase her a bit.
But we're still a little sad...c'mon Lotto!!!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

YoYo Posted by Picasa

Monday, January 09, 2006

My First Meme!!

I've been "tagged" by Chocolate Makes it Better, apparently. Am I using these terms correctly? Jeez, I feel like a total Luddite sometimes. I didn't even really know what a Meme was - I had to look it up on Wikepedia:

The term meme ([miːm] in the IPA; rhymes with "dream"; from the Greek word mimema for 'something imitated') often refers to any piece of information passed from one mind to another. In this sense, it relates closely to the academic study of folklore, in that folkloristics deals with the informal communication of cultural information.

I think I'm supposed to pass it on to five people, etc - but I don't even know five people with blogs (at least, not well enough to ask them to play along), so I'll be breaking the chain. I suppose this means 7 years' bad luck or something, but there ya go...

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was living in Omaha Nebraska, working in my first management role in a multi-national IT/ Finance company. I'd moved from Los Angeles back to the mid-west after the LA riots (Rodney King & all that), and was trying to get used to the bitter cold & snow again...

What were you doing one year ago?
My lovely wife was 4 months pregnant, we were living in Brisbane, and we'd just returned from a round-the-world trip to the northern hemisphere in winter. We went to Chicago, Maryland, Pennsylvania, London, and Vienna. I was trying to introduce my lovely wife to the concept of "bitter cold & snow". She promised before we left that she wouldn't complain about the weather, and God bless her - she never did (although I know she was shocked & rocked by the cold).

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Pate, cheese & crackers
2. Fresh baked bread with virgin olive oil & vinegar...mmm....
3. Gummi Bears, gummi worms, gummi babies....anything gummi. I have a problem.
4. Proscuitto & melon.
5. Smoked ham from the deli, stealing a slice, then another, then another....

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
Lots & lots....I'll try to name a variety:
1. The Lady is a Tramp, by Frank Sinatra (I am a karaoke whore)
2. Papa was a Rolling Stone, by Sly & the Family Stone
3. Jump in the Line, by Harry Belafonte
4. London Calling, The Clash
5. Gangsta Gangsta, N.W.A

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Quit work
2. Ask lovely wife to quit work
3. Buy perfect house close to beach
4. Buy deep-sea fishing boat
5. Live happily ever after

Five bad habits:
1. Biting my fingernails
2. Smoking (will quit Real Soon Now. Again.)
3. Occasional self-doubt. Very occasional, but it pisses me off when I'm not confident.
4. I've got a tendency to pout if I don't get my way. Or so I'm told.
5. BWI. Blogging While Intoxicated.

Five things I like doing
1. Playing with lovely wife & daughter
2. Cooking/ Making things from scratch (bread, pasta, pizza - Jeez, Chocolate Makes it Better: the similarities are freaking me out a little bit!)
3. Long rides on my motorcycle on an empty, winding road on a gorgeous Queensland day.*
4. Drinking beer with a bunch of friends at a pub on a lazy summer Saturday afternoon with nothing else to do for the rest of the day.*
5. Fishing. I don't know what I'm doing, but love it, and I reckon I've got the rest of my life to get good enough to actually catch fish.
( * never happens anymore)

Five things you would never wear or buy again.
1. Parachute pants.
2. A Toyota RAV4 (Lovely wife just had to have it. Shoulda put my foot down.)
3. Dominos pizza. Ugh.
4. A mullet.
5. Short-sleeved work shirts & ties. Please shoot me if I ever convince myself that this is a good look.

My favorite toys
1. Our baby's Jolly Jumper. Best toy ever.
2. Playstation
3. Motorcycle.
4. iPod
5. Fishing gear.

Alas, there ends this line of questioning, and I'll not be passing this on to five other bloggers...but thanks for inviting me to play, CMIB!!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

We're all doomed...

A million souls screamed out in pain –
A disturbance in the force;
My heart was filled with mortal dread,
And my blood began to course

The missus almost missed it,
We were both to shocked to speak;
Her nipples tensed in mortal fear,
My pulse became so weak

Nothing, anywhere, will ever be the same,
We’re all doomed, and that’s the truth.
God help us all, my dear old friends:
My daughter has a tooth.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Bring it on, 2006!

2005 was a Dickens of a year - the best of times & the worst of times.

My daughter was born at the end of May, and my brother died the beginning of November.

I know there were lots of other important things that went on, like war, earthquakes, tsunamis, more war, hurricanes, etc - but those were certainly the high & low points for me. I guess it will go down in the story of my life as a year in which I felt a lot of things. Great joy...great pain. I've also been thinking a lot of things. Will I be a good father? Could I have prevented my brother from killing himself? Why does the world seem to be increasingly full of hate? How can I stop this baby from crying? Why do people kill each other in the name of god? Do I really like what I do for a living? How can Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton be popular? What the fuck is going on, anyway?

I am afraid that I don't have the strength of my convictions. I consider everything sooo carefully, at the expense of action. I like to think that I am an empathetic guy - I can always see both sides of any argument. Unfortunately, this often prevents me from taking sides, and I end up feeling, and thinking, and not really acting. Or, at least, not as much as I want to.

I don't mean to whinge - I have been very successful, and have lots of very great friends, and a lovely wife, and a beautiful daughter, and I live in a great house, eat well, drink much too well, and have most of the things that I want. But somehow, tonight, it doesn't feel like enough. I haven't done enough. I can do so much more.

A few months before my brother killed himself, he sent me a quote from Nelson Mandela:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be?
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are born to manifest the glory of the spirit that is within us, and as we let our own light shine, we actually unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

That has been haunting me, for a lot of reasons. Mostly because I know that it's true - for me, anyway. And because my brother was struggling with this sort of thing, and then he checked himself out. That's fucked me up quite a bit.

But in this New Year, I really, really want to "manifest the glory of the spirit" that's inside of me. As much as I hate trying to make New Years resolutions - I know that I need to ease up on the feeling and thinking a little bit, and start letting that little voice inside me direct me more.

That little voice constantly tells me to love everyone, without reservation or judgement, to try my best at everything, and then to try harder.

Wish me luck.